Sherlock Holmes Review ~ Colton

Before I get into the review, I'd like to propose something: Robert Downey Junior plays Sherlock Holmes in this movie. That is awesome. Robert Downey Junior plays Iron Man in the Iron Man movies. That is also awesome. That being the case, would it not be the epitome of awesome if they took Sherlock Holmes out of Sherlock Holmes and replaced it with THE GODDAMN IRON MAN? Seriously, all deductive reasoning would be so far out the window it'd be in the building next door. The police would be like, "What do you think of this piece of evidence, Mister Holmes?" and Robert Downey Junior would be like, "I think that piece of evidence is about to be blasted through the wall." AND HE WOULD DO IT. He would blast the evidence through the wall, and the cop too, and then he'd go KILL LORD BLACKWOOD WITH HIS ROBOT SUIT. That would be the coolest thing ever.

But I digress. This review is not about Iron Holmes, it is about Sherlock Holmes, and Sherlock Holmes is a good movie.

My only previous experience with Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes character was reading Hound of the Baskervilles for a school project. In the novel, Sherlock Holmes basically stood in one place and told everyone what everything meant for 300-something pages. In the Sherlock Holmes movie, however, Sherlock Holmes told everyone what everything meant for two-plus hours, but he beat the ever-loving crap out of people while doing so. Robert Downey Junior may not be playing the Iron Man in this movie, but his Holmes comes off as almost Batman-esque: dangerously intelligent, dangerously handsome, and just plain dangerous. However, the Bat-Holmes shtick wasn't overdone: there are two parts in the movie where Holmes sees his opponent, quickly scans his surroundings to ascertain how best to take him down, and then does so. While he's scanning, the scene plays out in slow motion, then again in regular speed when he actually does it. It's an interesting concept, and it gave Holmes another fictitious character to relate to: Samus Aran. Also, Holmes doesn't come off as the strongest man alive: he loses his fights a lot of the time, and even when he wins, he gets his ass properly handed to him at least twice before his victory.

So the movie wasn't faithful to the book; that's forgivable in this case. After all, no one wants to sit for two hours watching Robert Downey Junior deduce things. They want to see him kicking ass. The movie gets away with this crime, but perpetrates another, much more serious one: Watson and Holmes are gay. Like, so unbelievably gay. Mind you, not in an intentional "We are two men, and we enjoy having sex" kind of way. More in a "We act like a bitter old gay couple" kind of way. Almost every scene that Watson and Holmes share together that is not filled with explosions and giant European men with sledgehammers is filled to the brim with gay subtext. It's as if Robert Downey Junior and Jude Law got together before filming and conspired to act as gay as humanly possible.

Just... Just so gay.

Despite the overbearing homosexual undertones (and overtones and sidewaystones and basicallyeverywheretones), the movie manages to blend four genres: action, mystery, suspense, and fantasy. This would be quite the feat for any movie, but Sherlock Holmes leaves them all in the dust by actually doing it well. The movie has a large focus on black magic, but it's not overbearing. The movie has a large focus on Holmes kicking ass, but it's not overbearing. In fact, that sums up the movie pretty accurately: it's not overbearing. It doesn't get right up in your face and demand that you like it, and that's what makes it so good.

One final problem with the movie: the special effects were nothing... special. All of the digitally added set pieces, props, et cetera looked like they were digitally added. But, to give the movie credit, it's Sherlock Holmes, not James Cameron's Avatar. If you had to go see one movie in theatres this month, Sherlock Holmes should definitely be at the top of your list.

Overall Score: 9/10